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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23590279">Any Way to Distract and Sedate</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/crispy_bean/pseuds/crispy_bean'>crispy_bean</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Charles being an absolute sweetheart, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Inspired by a Hozier Song, Mutual Pining, Reader-Insert, Song: Sedated (Hozier), Title from a Hozier Song, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:22:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,786</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23590279</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/crispy_bean/pseuds/crispy_bean</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a night to celebrate. Jack's back, safe and sound, and gang has somewhere safe to stay. </p>
<p>But, even so, you cannot help but wander away from the party. To wonder about the future, about now. </p>
<p>Charles comes to distract you from your worries.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Charles Smith (Red Dead Redemption)/Reader, Charles Smith (Red Dead Redemption)/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Any Way to Distract and Sedate</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I am still in love with Charles and this is the result. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Enjoy :) </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Characters aren't mine, mistakes are!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="ujudUb">
  <p>~</p>
</div><div class="ujudUb">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="ujudUb">
  <p>Just a little rush, babe<br/>
To feel dizzy, to derail the mind of me<br/>
Just a little hush, babe<br/>
Our veins are busy but my heart's in atrophy<br/>
Any way to distract and sedate<br/>
Adding shadows to the walls of the cave</p>
</div><div class="ujudUb">
  <p>You and I nursing on a poison that never stung<br/>
Our teeth and lungs are lined with the scum of it<br/>
Somewhere for this, death and guns<br/>
We are deaf, we are numb<br/>
Free and young and we can feel none of it</p>
</div><div class="ujudUb">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="ujudUb">
  <p>Sedated by Hozier </p>
</div><div class="ujudUb">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="ujudUb">
  <p>~</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>Tonight feels good.<br/>
   It’s the first time in a while where things are finally looking up. Things had taken a pretty deep dive recently, ever since heading this far south. But Abigail’s got her son back and John seems more willing to be near his family. You had yelled at him so many times to step up and be the man Abigail and Jack needed him to be, just for him to wave you off or ignore you completely.<br/>
   But now he’s got his arm around Abigail and a smile on his stupid face. Almost everyone has a smile. Even Strauss. You try to ignore how drunk Karen already is, not entirely sure if she started before or after Jack was saved. You’d noticed her drinking a lot more, ever since Sean…<br/>
   Despite the cheer from around the campfire, and the heat of the bayou air, there’s a coldness that settles in your chest. You take one last swig of your whiskey and slip away from the party.<br/>
   It’s dark and quiet behind the house. You can see out to the swamp area where any number of dangerous animals live. It’s difficult not to think about that, especially when you live and sleep so close to there. You let out a loud, shaky sigh.<br/>
   Any concerns about the swamp and animals or the gang are stamped out when Charles appears around the corner. Your heart picks up pace at the sight of him. Not from fear, but from feelings you’ve found difficult to hide as the weeks have passed. Almost impossible, honestly. Over the past few months, you’ve found his calm, quiet demeanour to be a comfort. And, when he finally relaxed around you, his conversations were wonderful reprieves that you couldn’t help but look forward to.<br/>
   “Evening, Charles.” You say so you don’t have to struggle in the silence. He doesn’t approach at first, just watches you like he’s figuring you out.<br/>
   “You alright?” His voice is low, so impossibly low, and laced with care.<br/>
   “Hm? ‘Course I am. You?”<br/>
   Charles doesn’t believe your nonchalance for a second, not by frown on his face. “Y/n,” he says quietly, hand slowly reaching out to you, as if to calm you. It only serves to hasten your heartbeat. “What’s going on?”<br/>
   “Nothing, Charles. I’m fine, everything is-”<br/>
   “Everything is not fine and neither are you.” Charles stands before you, closer than appropriate. His hand rests against your arm and it takes herculean effort not to reach for him. “What’s going on?”<br/>
   You hesitate. But Charles is a patient man and you know you won’t win this. “You’re right, Charles. Nothing’s fine. It’s not alright. I mean, we got Jack back, but Sean’s dead. And we keep getting chased further and further from home out West. It like how it was, running far enough till our problems went away.”<br/>
   “Are you scared?”<br/>
   You nod. “I can’t see this ending well. I know that Dutch- I trust him, I do. But these Pinkertons, and that Agent Milton… It’s getting way to dangerous.”<br/>
   “Y/n. It’s alright, you’ll be safe.”<br/>
   “But-”<br/>
  “But what?”<br/>
   “But you won’t be! You’re one of the best fighters we’ve got. You’ll get put right in the thick of it all and I can’t… you can’t get hurt. Charles, please…”<br/>
  “What? What, Y/n?”<br/>
   “It’s getting more and more dangerous, Charles. You could go, get somewhere safe. If anyone can make it on their own, it’s you. I mean… it’d be safer if you did-”<br/>
  “Do you want me to go?”<br/>
   It’s the tiniest thing, barely even noticeable. But you catch it. The quietest waver to Charles voice on the word ‘want’. Uncle was right about Charles being taciturn, but that tiny sound exposes so much that it catches you off guard.<br/>
   “W-well… It shouldn’t be up to me- it’s your decision. Your safety should be your priority.”<br/>
   “That’s not what I asked.”<br/>
   He’s close; much closer than before. You can see yourself reflected in his eyes, feel the warmth radiating from him and not just the humid bayou air. His hand travels down your arm and his hand against yours is feather light but electric. You sway closer to him, he leans closer to you, you’re not too sure. But it feels like this is inevitable. Like, after all these months, you were always going to end up like this. It might not have been behind a decaying house in the middle of a swamp, or during a party for a boy’s safe return; but here, nonetheless.<br/>
   “I don’t want you to go.”<br/>
   “No?” Charles leans just that little bit closer when you shake your head. “What do you want, then?”<br/>
   A lot of things. Everyone’s safety, Sean back, another drink. But in this moment, so close to Charles, you find that there’s only one thing you actually want. One person.<br/>
   When you lean forward to kiss Charles, you find his mouth already on yours. Charles kisses you like he acts, cautious but firm. It’s only when you press yourself against him does Charles touch you. One of his hands goes to the side of your face; the rough skin moving so gently against your cheek. The other slides to the small of your back and presses you against him just that little bit more. You had never thought you’d feel weak over a kiss. But the more Charles moves his lips with yours, the more questionable your knees feel.<br/>
   With each slide of his lips and twist of his tongue, your shaky resolve settles into something resembling solidity. You’ll do your best to make sure everyone is alright, of course. But you decide that, for you, Charles comes first. That this reserved, intimidating, kind, gentle man won’t get hurt on your watch.<br/>
   You try to convey that resolve to him by holding him tighter and breathing his name back to him. The response is a quiet sound in the back of Charles’ throat, something he wasn’t meant to let slip. But you hear it.<br/>
   You feel it.<br/>
   He kisses you just as reverently, gasping quickly for air to kiss you for longer. His large hands are solid and warm and you’re not sure if it’s his skin that’s burning or yours. You find that you don’t care. As long as that heat stays with you, staves off the cold reality of the gang’s situation or the harrowing uncertainty of tomorrow. As long as Charles stays with you.<br/>
   You pull back just enough to breathe. “If this all goes to hell, if the gang splits up, you’ll always have a place with me. You don’t ever have to be alone again.”<br/>
   Charles stills.<br/>
   That shaking in his hands is gone and you aren’t certain that he’s breathing. All Charles does is look at you in disbelief and indecision. You move to say something, opening your mouth just a fraction. But the words don’t come out. Not when Charles kisses you like your mouth is all he’s ever wanted. Or maybe just you in your entirety.<br/>
   “Y/n,” he breathes against your mouth before sliding his tongue against yours. A heady moan rattles in your chest as you cling to him, trying desperately to pull him impossibly closer.<br/>
   “Y/N?!”<br/>
   You pull away from Charles so sharply that your head smacks against the house. You hiss at the blooming pain and Charles presses a hand to your head, staring at you with concern. You’re still held against each other, faces barely inches apart while you try to catch your breath.<br/>
   “Y/N? Where you at?” It’s John’s voice, not doubt about it, and you groan in frustration. Over the distant din of conversation, you hear John’s footsteps getting closer.<br/>
   Charles pulls away and you immediately reach for him. But his hand on your arm keeps you at bay.<br/>
   “We can continue this later. We have time.” Charles says it like a fact, smiling assuredly. You nod, frustrated but convinced, and duck in quick for one final kiss.<br/>
   You hear Charles chuckling behind you as you go off in search of John.<br/>
   You find him a few steps from the corner, and he gives you a queer look. You stare at him like you’re challenging him to say anything. He thinks better of it.<br/>
   “What you want, Marston?”<br/>
   “Wanted to talk to you, that alright?”<br/>
   You shrug, stopping yourself from seeming defensive. “Sure. What about?”<br/>
   There’s a smile on John’s scarred face, the first genuine one you’ve seen in years. It makes him look younger. “Y’know how you’ve been on at me about being a better man… a better father. To Abigail and the kid?”<br/>
   “I recall something like that. The rest of the gang too, probably.”<br/>
   John huffs a laugh. “Yeah, well… I talked to Abigail. She, uh. I told her that I want to be there for her, and the kid. Better than I was.”<br/>
   “So, what’re you saying?”<br/>
   “I’m saying that I’m taking your advice. The three of us are going to be a proper family. Well, about as proper as we can get in this life.”<br/>
   You look at John for a moment, not really believing him. But he’s standing before you straighter than he ever has, more confident. Certainly, happier. Your smile comes quick, almost as quick as his. “You serious?”<br/>
   “Yes ma’am.”<br/>
   A laugh bubbles up in your chest and you dart forward to wrap John up in a hug. He’s laughing too, squeezing your tight before letting you go.<br/>
   “That’s incredible. Abigail must be so happy.”<br/>
   “She is. So am I.”<br/>
   “I’m happy for you, brother. Really.”<br/>
   “Thanks. I just can’t believe it. I got Jack back and now Abigail and I are on the same page. It feels good. Like things are finally getting good again.”<br/>
   Over John’s shoulder, you spot Charles taking a seat at the fire, next to Arthur. He looks up briefly at you, then smiles like he knows a secret. There’s a warmth in your chest that has been gone for so long that you forgot it was ever there to begin with. You smile at Charles, then at John.<br/>
   “Yeah, Marston. I think you’re right.”<br/>
  </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading this, let me know what you thought! </p>
<p>If you have any questions or requests, hit me up on k10phit.tumblr.com </p>
<p>See you in the next one :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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